Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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