Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
