at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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