so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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