I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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