why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
