zippers are such a cool invention
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This house was built for laser tag.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
