isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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