I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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