dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
