how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
