I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
