I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
