You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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