Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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