remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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