I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
