How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No stitches, just platelets and will power
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
