im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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