My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
