Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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