Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
