I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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