I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
