He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
