We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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