I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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