Already got asked if we're dating
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
