where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
