so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
