And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
