i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
