dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
