After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
