K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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