it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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