I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
