Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
