I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
