Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
tell me about the fingering
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
