so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
