Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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