Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
