LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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