I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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