I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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