She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
