You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
