I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
