The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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